You.

kau tertipu dengan cahaya yang indah terpantul.

saat kau menghampirinya,

kau tenggelam kelemasan.

life is, but a walking shadow.

*****

Lagi tiga hari, tiga hari terakhir dalam department surgery. dan lagi sehari, untuk memasuki sepuluh malam terakhir ramadhan.

keduanya menghasilkan perasaan yang sama. sedih. dan keliru.

surgery posting pertama. setelah sekian lama menganggur. setelah sebegitu lama saya menjadi pelajar perubatan, surgery posting pertama untuk saya merasai, apa itu seorang 'Doktor' yang dicanang-canang selama saya bergelar pelajar perubatan. dan 'oh, begini rupanya.'

keseluruhannya, surgical and neurosurgical posting were superb. the consultants, the surgeons, the MOs' and even the HOs' collegues were beyond my expectations. they were super duper nice persons. and surgical posting was the best starter for my career.

but i couldnt deny, there were ups and downs, bitter and sweet moments in this 4 months. the ones for me to keep.

ramadhan ini jugak ramadhan pertama, setelah sekian lama yang saya lalui dari hari pertama, dan insyaAllah ke akhirnya bersama keluarga, di Malaysia. tapi pahit untuk akui, kebanyakan hari saya berbuka di hospital. haha. so sad. i'm better off fasting in Jordan if this is the case. haha.

regardless, both are confusing. the more i grow up, the more i feel confused. about life i'm having now. in this sacred month.

O Allah, in this last 10 days, may you forgive my sins, guide me through out my life, shine upon me your guidance, show me the right path towards You, bless my whole life, and may You, with your full love and kindness, bestow upon me your Jannah.

ameen.