RSS

20171110

semoga bahagia, kawan


dan semestinya, Dia telah menulis takdirmu (takdirku) dengan seribu hikmah. aku cuma hanya perlu (terus) percaya.

20170608

single mothers





in o&g department, you encounter this more often. previously when i was in paeds, it's heartbroken when you admitted babies of UM. every single day, there's would always be at least a case. and the baby would be in scn longer than other babies even if she/he was well. because of the JKSP/ JKM issues need to be settled.

in o&g department, i actually encountered this more often. the youngest i encountered was a 15yo girl. the oldest was 40++ yo. and for sure she was para ++, not even primid. alleged rape cases, PMC's, UM's. i just cant imagine the fate of babies i conducted. i can only pray that those innocents would grow up just fine, and would be protected by Him.

one day, i heard this song at Pulau Perhentian. i was a fire show and this song attracted me so much. i was not so clear by then, but when i searched the full song, i really fell in love with it. and the thought suddenly came across me.

however, through whatever it was, once you are a mother, you'll always have this kind of feeling. differences. love, for a newborn. for the child you carried for months.

i just hope that Allah will lend you (single mothers) His strength, forgive your sins, accept your repentences and ease you and your child.

*i'm just not sure what i'm writing nonsense but hey, salam ramadhan~

20170511

another li(f)e


kau tersenyum di situ. aku kaku. ku kerling amy di sisi yang memapahku. dia nampak terkejut dengan kehadiranmu. begitu juga aku. tapi aku tak mampu melindungi perasaan gembira aku melihat senyumanmu. aku membalas. manis. tapi masih aku segan dengan amy yang nampaknya serba salah.

"amy, boleh biarkan kami sekejap?" kau bersuara selayaknya seorang lelaki. aku tergamam. bangga dan segan bercampur baur. bangga kerana seolahnya kau mengisytiharkan pilihanmu di hadapan amy. segan kerana amy antara sahabat yang rapat denganku. dan kami sebenarnya mempunyai perasaan pada orang yang sama. kau.

aku memandang dalam mata bundar gadis berkulit putih itu. tampak berkaca. aku tahu, hatinya pedih walaupun dia cuba sembunyikan di sebalik sebuah senyuman hambar. aku serba salah.

"amy.."

"tak apa isha. amy nak tahu je. lyn selalu cakap berlapis dengan amy, jadi amy rasa amy patut clear kan semuanya. sebelum terlambat." ayat bisanya menusuk. suaranya begitu sayu kedengaran di telingaku.

lyn sahabat karib aku. semenjak aku menjadi orang baru di asrama sekolah menengah ini, lyn yang satu dorm denganku entah sejak bila menjadi sahabat rapat. kami ke sana ke mari seperti belangkas. kelas yang berbeza bukan penghalang. setiap kali waktu rehat, kami pasti bersama.

dan hanya dia yang tahu segalanya tentang aku dan paan. dan amy sekarang menuntut penjelasan. apakah benar dia sedang bertepuk sebelah tangan.

aku menunduk. serba salah. bibir kuketap.

mengiyakan bererti aku bakal melukakan hati seorang perempuan. hubungan persahabatan kami mungkin terjejas kerana seorang lelaki.

menidakkan bererti aku yang akan terluka. terpaksa berpura-pura. atau mungkin dia akan lebih terluka akibat harapan kosong yang bercahaya. namun kelam pada akhirnya. atau mungkin bukan. bagaimana jika dia berjaya mencuri hati paan?

"paan pernah luahkan perasaan dia pada isha." aku menggumam perlahan. tapi mungkin cukup kuat pada pendengarannya. kukerling air mata amy yang ditahan, akhirnya berguguran. dia cuba tersenyum tetapi cukup pahit.

"dan isha? isha bagaimana?"

aku?

=============

"...kita kawan sampai bila-bila"

drafted for years.
and today, you silently ended everything.

20170327

end of march

havent you by now
seen enough of me?

havent i by now
waited enough for you?

20170217

que sera, sera


it was a sunrise date, where i decided to put all other things aside and came up with a decision. let alone it flows into where it flows. let alone it goes into where ever it goes.

it was that day, i happened to read it. it was a mixed of feelings. some of it made me amazed, at how we have those similarities. some made me wonder, if the differences between us is complementary, or actually a point for a later disaster.

some of it made me laughing at that very unexpected answers. i might be thinking that you are a freak, but later on realise if that so, i'm just as a freak as you. some of it made me wonder, if i could ever cope with another betrayal.

of anything, it was a soothing day. what ever bound to happen, will happen. i hope this is not the last time i could enjoy drowning in my thought at a beach.

^frens^

 
Copyright ^(U)mbReLLa^ 2009. Powered by Blogger.Designed by Ezwpthemes .
Converted To Blogger Template by Anshul .